confused...me against me

Do you know that when you fall in love...there is no stopping. You'll fall so deeply that u find your not yourself anymore...yes..i do feel that way.I used to be damn useless, at least i felt that way, never good enough, i was always envious of people, especially 2 person ( one my best friend, one i some how can't seem to shake off how good she is), I really don't want to name names...Cause this is one sided...they dun even know it...I hate how i am like that..ENVIOUS is not a nice word, and it doesn't mean nice.

I wish I could do does things,play an instrument or two, or maybe perfect in some skills or have money (geezz...everyone wants it)..nice feature (i have nice eyes but cacat face).. And most of time i get hit on, coz they think i'm easy, seriously i know where i stand......

I wish i wasn't so different, or so average i suppose, even i'm not sure anymore.... I am so confuse of how do I forget those feeling and how can i beat those feeling and how do make me worth more...

Now i am still confused. But being a bit better, coz atleast i am somewhat important to somebody and that they gotten use to how i am. I hate to be weak, rely on people and not know what to do. To them i am naive, i beg to differ, but i kinda like tat...I kinda like them somewhat think i am pretty, hot, and smart and independent and well...good (part of me still denies it so often that i still hate the look on the mirror, more often cause i can't stand to see how much weight i put on)..

I wan to make more friends and open up to ppl, i dun wan to be used and boycott by the whole class like i was in high school, it was terrifying....but i suppose i am content with wat i have, it can be boring some times...but its ok

I'm gonna go for prom...and i dun wan any pictures taken, that contradicting...haha...i dunno...hopefully it gonna boost me abit...

maybe i'll make an art work for this

Remember,

I love you with all my heart,

Remember

Every dream I had,

It has always been you.

A girl could never forget,

A boy little she cared about,

He will always be a fragment,

let alone forget the boy she loved.

If one day,

I leave you,

I didn't mean to hurt you,

I just wanted to make it more for you.

I'll gather every sunshine,

to brighten up your future.

I'll search every star,

to make your dream come true.

Moments are shared,

and memories are made,

don't you forget,

the love that warmth your heart.

P/s: If you do, i'll smack you

A Thousand Dreams Of You

i found a nice old song today~by leslie cheung

Oh, It's time to dream, a thousand dream of you!
It's been so grand together, yes, together.
You thrilled me from the start.
You brought the spring again.
Your fingers touched the strings of my heart and made it sing again.
I hope you dream a thousand dreams of me.
All things we're planed doing together.
And if you do, I dream my whole life through.
A thousand, a million, a zillion dreams of you!

A rose... out of nothing, one must make something

after a few days of not posting i shall post....