Monday, March 28, 2011

song of the day-1000 words

I know that your hiding things
Using gentle words to shelter me
Your words were like a dream
But dreams could never fool me
Not that easily

I acted so distant then
Didn't say goodbye before you left
But I was listening
You fight your battles far from me
Far too easily

"Save your tears cause I'll come back"
I could hear that you whispered as you walked through that door
But still I swore
To hide the pain, when I turn back the pages
Shouting might have been the answer
What if I cried my eyes out and begged you not to depart
But now I'm not afraid to say what's in my heart

Though a thousand words
Have never been spoken
They'll fly to you
Crossing over the time
And distance holding you, suspended on silver wings
And a thousand words
One thousand confessions
Will cradel you
Making all of the pain you feel seem far away
They'll hold you forever

The dream isn't over yet
Though I often say I can't forget
I still relive that day
You've been there with me all the way
I still hear you say

"Wait for me, I'll write you letters"
I could see how you stand with your eyes to the floor
But still I swore
To hide the doubt when I turn back the pages
Anger might have been the answer
What if I'd hung my head and said that I couldn't wait
But now I'm stroing enough to know it's not too late

Cause a thousand words
Call out through the ages
They'll fly to you
Even though we can't see
I know they are reaching you, suspended on silver wings
Oh a thousand words
One thousand embraces
Will cradel you
Making all of your weary days seem far away
They'll hold you forever

Oh a thousand words (a thousand words)
Have never been spoken (ohh yeah)
They'll fly to you
They'll carry you home, (carry you home) and into my arms
Suspended on silver wings (on silver wings!)
And a thousand words (ohh)
Call out through the ages (call through the ages!)
They'll cradel you (ohh yeah)
Make all of the lonely years to lonely days (lonely days)
They'll hold you forever.

Ohhhhhhhhhhh a thousand words



Apparently i'm a fucking slut... my parents and sister seem to think so...
I am not to be trusted

BEWARE AWARE, I LIE TOO FUCKING MUCH

just fucking kill me...
and now you seem to think i am an idiot- i admit

i am also forget-fucking-ful....but u also know that i am so fucking tell people that i fucking have you and fucking ask them politely to fuck off

Friday, March 25, 2011

off with this feeling.

I think one day...everyone is going away, its like i'm a slow growing virus, that either everyone starts to hate me and resent me or just me going away from them cause either bored or just learn that we are just not in the same "world".

My childhood friend said i was anti-social when i was in high school, the fact is i wanted more friends that anyone, i went through a lot of lengths and just got push down.
If i was in a bar, i'll the ugly one that someone wants to get laid before last call, and i didn't even know it. Thats how my high school people resent me, boys or girls even my juniors.

I was meant to be a loner. Being alone is fine, i got books, musics and occasional homework to rush, i'm good at alone work, I 'm not good with people. But i don't want to be feeling lonely, left out, nobody remembers you at all, only when your good knowledge and service is needed.

My baby answer my question, I will be bitter like this. Apparently not cause i'm a different race people don't like me, now that i've talked more vulgarly and more frank, no more manja-ish, its just what? EVERYTHING ELSE OF ME

Fuck it, why am i even here? I failed my family, i've hurt myself, i've made everyone go away, pushing all the fuck away,spoilt all my stuff electronically, screw up my body, wasted money. Why am i so destructive??? i can't save me. who can i help then?

the only i have left is him and HIM.

song of the night- heartbreak hotel....by elvis

Well, since my baby left me
Well, I found a new place to dwell
Well, it's down at the end of Lonely Street
At Heartbreak Hotel

Well, I'll be
I'll be so lonely baby
Well, I'm so lonely
I'll be so lonely, I could die

Oh, although it's always crowded
You still can find some room
For broken hearted lovers
To cry there in their gloom

They'll be so
They'll be so lonely, baby
Well, they're so lonely
They're so lonely, they could die

Now, the bell hop's tears keep flowin'
And the desk clerk's dressed in black
Well, they been so long on Lonely Street
( From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/e/elvis-presley-lyrics/heartbreak-hotel-lyrics.html )
They'll never ever look back

And it's so
Well, it's so lonely baby
Well, they're so lonely
Well, they're so lonely, they could've die

Well, if your baby leaves you
You got a tale to tell
Well, just take a walk down Lonely Street
To Heartbreak Hotel

Where you will be
You'll be so lonely, baby
Well you'll be lonely
You'll be so lonely you could die

Oh, although it's always crowded
You still can find some room
For broken hearted lovers
To cry there in their gloom

They've been so
They're be so lonely, baby
Well, they're so lonely
They'll be so lonely, they could die

Moral## Your heart breaks, there are others like you, find a hotel and cry and be lonely a while

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

just tired

These are the times,
I don't want to be me

These are the times
I feel as alone and as lonely
as I could ever feel...

As though giving Ur best is not enough....shows how low you actually are
and people rub it in your face

Have I not done enough?

Saturday, March 12, 2011

sophisticate

sophisticate- by definition -
1. having refined or cultured tastes and habits
2. appealing to sophisticates a sophisticated restaurant
3. unduly refined or cultured
4. pretentiously or superficially wise
5. (of machines, methods, etc.) complex and refined

From online.


but lets play around with words ya?...
Here is my version....


S- hold your heart Sacred above all things, for it reflects you
O- be always Observant, for you always see others needs
P- have Peace, never fret for nothing comes out of it
H- have some Humor, for it share joy and ease pain
I- never be Improper, stay polite always for the tongue could hurt more than a fist
S- Be Sincere, to rich or poor, for one deed is never forgotten even sincerity
T- Be Trustworthy, for trust is a virtue hard to come by and hard to achieve
I- Try to be Interesting, for your own sake not others, for then life will be interesting
C- Be Casual, something simple and appreciated
A- Be Awesome, because you are
T- Be Thankful, either way your alive still
E- Be Eccentric once a while, no one should be sane all the time

Thursday, March 10, 2011

odd day...


Today is so odd...

I miss ash Wednesday, went to watch a movie (127 hours)...and dinner, only to find out my mum called 14 times...yes...I'm a jerk for letting my mom worry. I forgot i put it on silent...

I didn't have class today, she asked me why didn't tell her, I tried last night she was busy...

I went to the movies with Leo..She said she didn't give me her permission why am i still going out with him, even though 2 or 3 weeks ago she said she knows i won't break up, just be honest to her about where i go, so yea....honesty!! there it goes....so what the hell you want...

Later..I went to multipurpose hall..where i suppose was a sign..

I went thre for fun, it was pretty good, i remember the girls name: May, Joan, Clarisse and Sarah...
we did odd photo shoots...which is fun, we had 4 booths ,a nd weird cardboard frames...But i was still down

before we left , a guy name Roy ( he was knida hot and short) hahaha....gave this speech which was really nice...
when he started talking i was think :oh god...another god story...but it wasn't exactly like tat...it was well very sweet,...

everyday is a new story to write, and every1 is important.
Guard your heart, because your heart reflects your life
all pain is temporary,and be happy even your sad ( its dammmmn hard)
Read the bible, God's hand is always there,
Do not fret or worry,
Control your anger and think,
He is never forceful, take his hand when your ready ( i think...)
whatever experience is beautiful and there is a lesson.


thats all i can remember..



Best part ...i got free chicken rice.....



Saturday, March 5, 2011

Get a life- Siam Shade

Getting cold
Time to ride
Think I'll head up north
Hungry now
Dinner time
Think I'll eat a rose
I ain't crazy
I'm just a little strange
Get a life

Ain't no clown
I'm alive
Think I'll keep my soul
Take my time
Take my dreams
I might take your life
I ain't crazy
I don't do over time
I ain't lazy
I'm busy loving life
Freedom is a right

Don't tell me what to do
Don't tell me what to say
How to live my life
I'll live it anyway
I'm not part of your game
And you're not part of mine
Can't buy my soul
No money can buy time,love or hope

Don't you fuck with me
I won't fuck with you
Don't you bring me down
I won't bring down you
Don't you fuck with me
I won't fuck with you
Don't you bring me down
I won't bring down you
I won't break you

Justice, an injustice Majority
Rules the others
Lord,I just wanna walk away
Need a better location
A place where nobody tells me
What is right
And what is wrong
Where no footsteps lie
Ahead of me
Everything with new.
We'll all gonna die
Anyway might as well
Live a life I choose

Friday, March 4, 2011

Heidi-Loop (translated and romaji_)thanks to jpop asia

Everything that is reflected in those eyes, isn't it all an illusion?
I wonder how you feel continuing in this tangled melting love?

I only desire one thing
What is it?
My wish to grasp these things can't come true
It flows away like that cloud

Looking
Anywhere
For the reason why we're connected

Isn't it okay just clinging to your sadness?
Your natural beauty when you go out
Even if we were to part one day
Surely we'd still meet

You and I overlapping
Who would wish such a thing
Thrown out into the black sea
I swallow the waves and keep drowning

I feel it
This heart
We'll show it now

Is it okay just clinging to your loneliness?
Your limited beauty is scattered
This time I will scoop it up in in the palm of my hand and fill it with
kindness



Sono me ni utsuru mono subete
Maboroshi ni wa miemasenka
Karami aitekete yukunaka
Kimi wa nani wo kanjiteru no darou

Hoshii mono wa tatta hitotsu
Sore wa iitai nan desuka
Sukamuku to nado kanawanai
Nagareteku ano kumo no you desu

Mitegoran dokomade mo tsunagatta sono riyuu wo

Kanashii kara sugara wo
Sonna mono de ii janai ka
Kazaranai mama mukaeru utsukushisa yo
Itsuno hibi ga wakare wo tatoe doko ni ita toshitemo
Kitto mada aeru

Kumanai ga kimi to boku
Sono ishiki wa dare no mono
Kuro no umi ga kedatare
Nani ni nomare omoete yuku dake

Kanjiteru kono kokoro bokutachi wo ima shimeshite

Sabishii kara sugara wo
Sonna mono de ii janai ka
Kamirareta mama shini yuku utsukushisa yo
Kono toso wa wakare wo tenohira de sukueru mono yo
Yasashisa wo subete






i hate this homey feeling

I hate this...I am not my aunt...

so what if i had to lie and so what if i like to go to clubs.....i'm not married! I don't leave my kids! and I don't sleep around!

fuck that!!

just disown me!