off with this feeling.

I think one day...everyone is going away, its like i'm a slow growing virus, that either everyone starts to hate me and resent me or just me going away from them cause either bored or just learn that we are just not in the same "world".

My childhood friend said i was anti-social when i was in high school, the fact is i wanted more friends that anyone, i went through a lot of lengths and just got push down.
If i was in a bar, i'll the ugly one that someone wants to get laid before last call, and i didn't even know it. Thats how my high school people resent me, boys or girls even my juniors.

I was meant to be a loner. Being alone is fine, i got books, musics and occasional homework to rush, i'm good at alone work, I 'm not good with people. But i don't want to be feeling lonely, left out, nobody remembers you at all, only when your good knowledge and service is needed.

My baby answer my question, I will be bitter like this. Apparently not cause i'm a different race people don't like me, now that i've talked more vulgarly and more frank, no more manja-ish, its just what? EVERYTHING ELSE OF ME

Fuck it, why am i even here? I failed my family, i've hurt myself, i've made everyone go away, pushing all the fuck away,spoilt all my stuff electronically, screw up my body, wasted money. Why am i so destructive??? i can't save me. who can i help then?

the only i have left is him and HIM.