attention whore....

Its quite a while since i ever wrote...yeap i am feeling shitty today....

why?

i hate admiting stuff that i know its true..example: attention whore

i have this ego thing going...its deep down...( one of the reason why i still keep my tagged account and keeping record of so far 6427 friend request) i dun like to admit it...sometimes i dun mind attention and yes i actually like it at times, being said right in the face "attention whore" and "lame " isn;t what i hoped for though...

Its cold water in your face

I know, i can't take criticism, i suck at it...but i am damn good at criticizing people....i should be fine in the background, its where i've always fit in...reaching literally for the "star", thats not possible, thats not where i should be...

"the person i can be and the person i want to be is 2 different thing...it was why i decided not to have dreams.."

I hate myself for it...its another ugly side of me that i hate people to see....i'm weak..i dun like asking for help, i dun wan to depend on people, yet i still cling on people....

when i write this post, i feel like i am having a dialog with myself....

i hate myself...its just ugly...

people are so blind, and i hate that too...i am not strong, i am not cute nor am i understanding...

i am not all that...

even i dun no what i am...i be myself, but somehow i'm scare how people look at me...

haiz..i'm just being stupid...