i miss my baby..things aren't going so well..since my threatened to disown me or pull me out of college..if a choice has to be made, i will have to give him up, atleast i am some how near to him, and i know he is okay, by coincidence i might bump into him, or maybe stay as BFF (lol_). If i was back home with that kind of terms... i probably be miserable and put myself infront of the train...
Got the results yesterday, and trying to appeal...How the heck can 1 get a C for english!!!! NO f******* WAY!!! And that asshole leader got a B, i got a C!!! I did all the work....
FIY: Last semester sucks...i have 2 replacement lecturer, one is plays with her pets another is a snobbish ass teacher! and when the results came out the one that i dun deserve, i ask, and all she can say, i dun no anything,i was't there!!!! ( i know i can't blame her, her stomach was as big as a person could fit inside, she had to deliver, but stillll.....)
Uggg.....enough of that...the worse part is still the clashing of my love life and my family life...
I can;t talk to my baby..not so much...coz we're kinda having a break from each other...for one month, see how it goes, if my mom believes we broken up, then we be underground lovers....if not, we would really have to break...
sometimes i am so sorry to put him through this, i know i will be asking toomuch for him to like wait for me...who knows what the future holds...
As much as i dun wanna admit, i know some1 better is out there, and in the long run, it will be wasting his time, i will wait, coz i found that 1 person.. (and my market is very badddddd) but i rather he not, i feel bad for him, for him , to put him in these kind of situation...he didn't enjoy much of a couple should and in one month, parents issues posses a threat.
As for my parents...i am not pissed or what...This is my chosing, i dun regret anything.I love my family..i try to make them proud. I just realise how nothing i am ...how sad is it...i didn't do anything right...apparently falling in love was the way they see it, a mistake i chose.
But many thanks to my baby, i am gaining bits of confidence...i dunno know how did i change...i only hope the best...he let me know that people can somehow accept me..Its just i haven't found the right ones...
"'you mix with alot of ah lian and ah beng" he said...haha...
Now...all i know , no matter how happy i am, something is missing...I know it.
People around me see it...one gal, her name is janet(not so close), she ask me why am i sad?..and my lecturer ask me why do i look so gloomy...it is becoming that obvious...which i dun intend to. i really dun...i need to hide myself now...
so bye's...
When the cloud hides the sun
And the rain comes
can you see my tears
and my heart broken
When the clouds hides the sun
And the rays no longer seen
all there left is greyness
in all that i can see
When the clouds refuse to go
and the sun struggles to shine trough
can you see that i am too
trying to go through and have you in my arms
When the clouds had all its fun
and wants to leave
The sun shines its warmest ray
and it hits the ground,
i know all be better,
cause in that mists of rays
i know i'll see you and have you in my arms again.
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